no words, no snarky titles

On Sunday morning at work we had a Code Pink. Code Pink is the same as Code Blue only the patient is 8 years old or younger. This patient was under a month old. He didn't make it. The ER called me about a half-hour after I called the code and asked for the chaplain on call. When I transferred him to the ER I could hear a woman in the background sobbing very hard. I hung up and my body felt heavy all over. My heart hurt. I couldn't wait to get home. I came home to a house full of kids. My kids, neighbor kids, wonderful kids. Blake greeted me with his usual, "MOMMMMMAAAAAAA!!" and he ran to me at the door and gave me a big hug. Just like he always does. I gave him a big kiss and a hug and kissed and hugged Emily.

Do that for your kids today. There are mommies and daddies who aren't able to tonight.

When my dad speaks people listen...and then they laugh too

My dad called me a couple weeks ago and said he wanted all of us to go out to eat at a new Chinese Buffet. The only thing he knew about it was that it was on the Iowa side of the river off of 53rd street. For those not familiar with my state, 53rd street runs through the entire width of two towns and is probably 5-10 miles long. I don't know. I'm not a good judge of distance, but it's quite a stretch.

Tonight he decided we're going on Sunday afternoon. I called him back after telling Adam our plans and managed to have the following conversation without so much as a giggle.

"Hey, where is this place at?"
"Somewhere off of 53rd I guess."
"hmm..."
"I think it starts with a 'Q'. It has a Mexican name."
"..."
"I think it's called Quizno's."
"...uuhhh."
"...Or something like that. Something that starts with a 'Q'."
"And it's a Chinese restaurant?"
"Yeah. What did I say? Did I say Mexican? Yeah. It's Chinese."
"O...kaaay...."
"Can't you just find it on the computer?"
(in my head) "Yeah, I'll just type in Chinese buffets that have Mexican names starting with 'Q'."
"I don't know. It's somewhere off 53rd there."
"Ok then."
"Alright. Talk to ya later. Dad loves ya." (That's right. My dad speaks in the 3rd person.)
"Love you too."

I think I know the place he's talking about except it's not new. It's been around for a few years. It's just off of 53rd street right behind the Mexican restaurant "Q'doba." We'll see what happens on Sunday.

When Blake speaks, people listen...and then they laugh.

Blake's spilled few zingers out of his mouth in the last few weeks. I thought I would share them here.

A couple weeks ago I had just laid down because I was working 3rd shift that night. Emily and Blake were watching TV in Blake's room when I heard Blake say to her, "What the HELL did you do THAT for???" I just laid there and chuckled. Emily didn't have a response.

On Tuesday night this week Adam and I decided to play Rockband after the kids went to bed. A couple songs in I got a perfect score. I was pretty proud of myself and Adam said, "Way to go. I'll have to stick it in your butt later." (Because he thinks all the ladies like to be rewarded with anal sex.) That's when we heard Blake call out from his room, "I HEARD that!" We thought he was sleeping. Ooops!

Just this morning I was talking to Blake about how he was going to go shopping and run some errands with daddy.

"Are we going to the pool?"
"No. Not until summer."
"Are we going to the Kid's Choice Awards?"
"No, and neither is Chris Brown."
"What?"
"Nothing. Oh, and stop watching so much TV."

This is what eight years of higher education will get you

At work we get all of the medical transcripts from the transcription department and mail them out to the doctors listed on them. I don't read through them unless I see a word that might catch my eye and then I might skim it. Mostly it's because we get so much mail that if I sat there and read them all it would take my entire shift. Plus they're mostly boring. One did catch my eye the other day though. It was regarding an elderly woman, I think in her 80's that was having trouble with her vision. The doctor said about her condition, "...she finds darkness very much causes poor vision." Wow. Really? She can't see in the darkness? Hmph. I guess that's why you're the doctor and I'm just sending you your mail.

Survivor...not just a cheesy hair band

There is another boy who lives in our building that is about the same age as Emily and the boy I mentioned in my previous post. We'll call him "Princess". Princess is just one of those kids that you want to like but damn, he's just so annoying. He has to be better than everyone, he never shares and he whines and cries a lot for a boy.

When he was about 19 months old his dad died from cancer so it's a reason you want to like him and want to excuse his behavior because he's spent the last 8 years or so of his life being cared for by his mom and sister who is about 6 years older than him. He's been babied a lot and it shows. You want to excuse him, but its really hard.

The boy that I mentioned in my last post used to go over to "Princess'" house after school until his mom picked him up but he just can't stand to be around The Princess anymore, which is why he comes to our house after school. This past weekend after having it rubbed in his face by The Princess for about the 212th time that he didn't have a Nintendo DS, our little boy hero spouted, "I may not have a DS but I survived cancer and your dad didn't."

OUCH.

I wasn't there when it was said, I heard about it from another neighbor who WAS there. I don't know how Princess reacted and I don't know what was said to Boy Hero. I don't know how I would have reacted to either of them but I'm sure my initial reaction would have been to say, "AW SNAP!" and then I probably would have just felt bad for both of them. Boy Hero is not a rude kid, he's very nice but I think he's been taken to the brink by Princess and I'm not sure how building relationships will be changed after that. If Boy Hero's parents know what he said, I'm sure they will punish him for it and make him apologize. As far as The Princess is concerned, I'm sure he probably cried but he'll be back to his snotty behavior by tonight, don't worry.

What? No. Girl. Seriously?

My adoring husband has a very warped sense of humor which gets him in trouble a lot, usually with me. Weird pain in his knee? "Probably cancer." he'll say. Left eye twitching? "Cancer." Hang nail? That's right. "It's cancer." I HATE it when he says that. I think it bothers me most because my mom was soooo superstitious when I was growing up so you never said those kinds of things. Never. Why? Because then you'll get cancer. Ever hear of Murphy's Law??? Duh!

So last Thursday after an unplanned nap on bother of our parts, Adam and I woke up when Emily got home from school. A short time later a neighbor boy downstairs came to hang out at our house for a few minutes until his mom got home from work. He's about a year older than Emily and is just the nicest kid and his parents are awesome. His dad is a Marine but not the big veiny-necked kind of Marine. He's more of a kinder, gentler Marine. His mom is a very sweet person that would probably feel bad after having to scrape a deadly spider off the bottom of her shoe.

We were sitting at the dining room table when his mom showed up and we had only been talking for a few minutes when she looked at Adam and said, "Why are you so pale? Does he look pale? Are you getting sick?" That's when I said, "Eh. It's cancer." Immediately I wanted to take it back and go stick my head in the oven, but not for any of the reasons mentioned above. The reason I was just about to hurl myself off our deck is because this sweet boy is a cancer survivor. He got some form of leukemia when he was a baby that was serious enough that the Marines never sent his father overseas. In his 11 years as a Marine he has always had a desk job basically so he could be near his son. His mother has probably been through things with her little boy that I cannot imagine and what did I say to her--JOKINGLY???? "Eh. It's cancer." Who has two thumbs and is the biggest jerk in the state of Iowa? *This Girl*

I searched her face immediately afterwards to make sure she wasn't going to freak out. Adam turned and gave me the same look I would have given him if the roles were reversed. We were having some kind of "Freaky Friday" moment and I was Jamie Lee Curtis wondering why I was spewing such garbage out of my mouth. The next few seconds are a blur but I do remember saying something along the lines of, "I can't believe I said that." To which Adam said, "Yeah, me neither. I'M usually the one to say that kind of thing." "I know, and I HATE that!"

I think we were both having this conversation so our sweet neighbor wouldn't grab her kid by the elbow and make a bee-line for the door, crying hysterically. I think she understood that we weren't some kind of inconsiderate freaks and we spent the next 10-15 minutes or so just chilling out and having a great gossip gab about other neighbors. The whole subject was dropped and forgotten about until I flashed back on it tonight at work. It was one of those moments where you think back on what you did and you gasp, smash your palm into your forehead and go, "Jesus! You idiot!" I'm hoping that by telling you, Internet, it will help me atone for what I've done. It will...right? Right? Crap. I'm screwed.

Tooodayyyy is Friiiidayyyyyy...

Did any of your children sing that song in school? Or maybe you yourself did? Emily sang that song in preschool. It goes through the days of the week and mentions a meal that was had on that day. The only one I remember FOR SURE is "Wednesday soooo-uuuuup!" I think Monday was chicken. Anyway, there's something about Friday that every time the word is mentioned I always seem to find my self singing, "Today is Friiiii-dayyyyyyyy." I'm not really sure why.

Anyway, as is Friday tradition for The Warren's it was "run errands, go out to eat and buy groceries" day. We started the day with breakfast at Maid Rite diner, which is very close to our house. We managed to all eat for under $20, which was awesome. From there we headed across the river to get haircuts for me and Blake. I have a girl that I go to in the mall but we didn't want to pay mall prices for our 4 year-old's haircut so we took him to Great Clips. The girl did a good job and kinda evened up the cut he had. I like Blake's hair to be buzzed and Adam likes it more grown-out so it can be parted. Since Adam's been laid off for the winter I've let him take over Blake's haircuts and do what he wants. He knows that as soon as he goes back to work it will be back to me buzzing Blake's hair off out on the deck as usual so I'm letting him have his way...for now. I think Adam and I came to a pretty good compromise on his hair today at the salon and the little guy looks so handsome.

After Blake's haircut we headed to the mall so I could get mine cut. I lucked out a few years ago when I found this girl. I had been going to a more "upscale" salon at the mall and having the same girl cut my hair for a while. Then she went and effed it all up when I had it colored. She effed it up so bad and I hated it so much that I actually wrote to the corporate headquarters and they ended up sending me a check for reimbursement. I didn't go into a salon for almost a year after that. I'm a one-stylist kinda gal and so just going anywhere and having anyone cut my hair will not do. When I moved out on my own I went from having the girl that always cut my mom's hair to having to find my own stylist. I became friends with a girl that was about to graduate from La James as a stylist. She was plucked right from school to a very trendy and very expensive salon based on how awesome she did in school. She was able to cut hair for free because they wanted to build up her clientele. She was fantastic at her job and only once did someone else touch my hair for about 4 years after that. Even then it was a friend of hers (who really butchered my hair, btw) and I went to him because I couldn't find her. (She had to quit the fab job at the hoity-toity salon because they wouldn't work around her pregnancy) As is my luck she stopped by the store I was managing about a week after I got the butcher job to let me know where she was working. She was fixed my hair later that week.

The last time she touched my hair was on my wedding day and she was planning on getting married the next weekend. After that she and her husband moved out of state and I was left to find someone else.

I got a recommendation from a friend who was working at a salon. That girl cut my hair for the next few years and that's when I moved and happened upon the girl at the mall who doesn't know how to color hair. So after a year of no haircuts I couldn't stand it anymore. I sauntered into the first place I strolled by in the mall, "MasterCuts". I got the next available stylist and I explained to her, as I do to all new stylists, that my hair is very fine and stick straight so it has to be texturized A LOT. She said, "that's cool. That's exactly how my hair is." She cut it so perfect I've only gone somewhere else once, and that was a couple months ago.

I was so busy working every shift at work and everything that when I finally had a night off to take Emily for a haircut I decided to have them cut mine too. I didn't go to my regular place, we went somewhere just down the road. Immediately after I said I wanted a cut too a little voice in my head said, "No! Take it back! Tell them you changed your mind!" But I didn't and the girl didn't cut my hair right AT ALL. It wasn't bad but it didn't work for me because of how naughty my hair always is.

Today when I shamefully walked into my MasterCuts I had to own up to what I did. "No problem." My girl said. "It looks like an easy fix." Whew. She cut it and even as I sat there with a wet head I could already tell it was better looking. It felt better. I felt better AND I learned a lesson.

After our haircuts we headed to the dollar store where I had to buy a bunch of black frames for a big picture hanging extravaganza I'm planning next week. Then we headed next door to Wal-Mart for groceries where I forgot 10 things, 7 of them being black 8x10 frames that they didn't have at the dollar store. I'll probably pick those up on my way home from work in the morning.

Other than our normal busy Friday the rest of the weekend is pretty free for me. On Saturday Emily has her last rehearsal before her big performance on Monday morning with the Quad City Ballet. In case I haven't mentioned it she, along with other girls from the museum dance classes, are playing the part of "the river" in Peter and the Wolf, although they look more like a lake to me. Adam's band is playing a show Saturday night as a benefit for MDA. The kids are staying at my sister's so I'm being held responsible for getting myself up and together for work that night. I hate that. I always end up over sleeping or something. I can get myself up and going when I work 1st shift, but there's something about 3rd shift that makes me unable to be responsible for myself. Not sure what that is.

In closing I'd like to give a shout-out to my hubby who found himself in the unusual spot of being the only apartment building husband not in trouble for something he did Thursday night. WTG Adam! Looks like there's a little more room in the dog house tonight for the other husbands. Woot!

Ring of Fire

Our date night at our local dinner theater last night was wonderful. Our local dinner theater is only one of two in the country that has performing waitstaff. I had my friend Jimmy all the way in Des Moines call the theater a couple hours before we left to set up a surprise for Adam. Adam has only been to Circa 21 once before and it was for an afternoon children's matinee so he has never had the whole experience of the buffet dinner and big musical production. He also had no idea that the waitstaff could come to your table and sing to you for your birthday/anniversary. This is what I had Jim set up for us. I tried doing it all day but Adam was always around so I couldn't get it done. Adam was so surprised. He was the first person they came and sang to because our waitress was afraid, based on something Adam had asked her earlier, that he was going to leave and go outside to smoke. After we were done eating here came our waitress with another waitress in tow. She was carrying a little cake with a candle on it. She said, "Ok, Adam? It's Adam, right?" The look on Adam's face was priceless. It was like he was thinking, "How the HELL do you know my name???" The two of them sang Happy Birthday to him and it was awesome. Classic surprise.

The buffet always goes with the theme of the play. Since Ring of Fire is about Johnny Cash's life, our buffet had a southern cooking feel to it. It included Carved Carne Asada Beef, Whiskey Pork Chops Sante Fe, Chicken with Corn and Black Beans, Cajun Style Catfish, Vegetarian Lasagna, Southwestern Potato Bake, Red Beans and Rice and Folsom County Sweet Mustard Greens. It was all pretty good though I didn't try the Chicken with corn and black beans, the vegetarian lasagna or the mustard greens. Well, I did eat a small bite of Adam's greens because I'd never had them before and they were fine.

The musical was different, I liked the way it was set up. There was something about the way the beginning of the performance was done that reminded me of Rent, my all time favorite musical. It wasn't done in a way you would think. It was basically 6 people that performed Johnny Cash's songs and told the basic gist of his life. No one dressed like him. In fact no one dressed in all black at all. For the 2nd half of the second act everyone wore black but not Johnny Cash style. The entire cast all wore different outfits that were somewhat similar, like in color. For instance one wore a velvet skirt and satin vest-type top and then maybe one of the guys was wearing a white t-shirt, black jeans and a black vest. The show ended with all of them wearing different red and black outfits.

The weird part was they killed him off half-way through the second act. Even weirder was if you look at Circa's website it says that this musical is the only show of it's kind that Johnny Cash personally endorsed before his death. Do you think if he saw it they kinda stopped right at that point and said, "Ok Johnny. Here's where we're going to talk about you dying. You know, once it happens."

The whole show was packed with probably around 30 songs and it was cool to hear some of them performed by women. All of the musicians performed too and didn't just sit there and play music. They had a female violinist who ROCKED the house. She was so good. I don't remember everything about her bio that was in the program but she looked to be in her 20's and has performed all over the world. I believe it said she graduated from Berkley in 2008. She made me wish I paid more attention in orchestra class during my own violin/viola/cello days.

The play also went by rather quickly, I think because it was more of a showcase of Johnny's music as opposed to a story of his life. The last play I went to at Circa, "The Full Monty" didn't get out until 10:45. With this one it was done just before 10:00.

Anyway, if you live in this area and can get tickets to this show before it closes on March 21st, do it. Even if you don't enjoy country music, like me, you will know a lot of the songs and the performance of them.

It's not just a venerial disease...

Adam and I are going to see Ring Of Fire tonight. I bought him tickets for Valentine's Day. I'll post my review tomorrow. Happy hump day!

A meme for you...

Because I haven't done one in a very, very long time...steal it for yourself if you like.


1. How old do you look? - Considering I haven't gotten carded for ANYTHING in a very long time I must look old *sigh*.
2. Where do you live? - Iowa Quad Cities
3. Are you waiting for something? - Yes. I'm waiting for 7am so I can go home.
4. What’s one pet peeve of yours that is not common? - You mean I have to list just one? I can't stand people that don't do things my way. Oh, and also the way my sister and husband eat their cereal. So obnoxious.
5. Do you want/have kids? - Like you don't know already, I have a daughter, Emily who is 7 and a son, Blake who is 4.
6. Have you ever thought about converting your religion? - No but the Scientologists have been trying to get their alien hands on Adam for years. Even followed us through two moves. Persistent little buggers.
7. Last shocking news you heard? - I wouldn't call it a bombshell but it's something that made me go, "What? Are you kidding me right now?" It's when I found out that my cousin only lost 2 pounds after eating nothing but water, jello and broth for a week and a half in preparation for lap band surgery. They were expecting her to lose 20-30 pounds.
8. What was the last thing you drank? - Water and before that a Mt. Dew.
9. Who do you most look like in your family? - Probably my mom.
10. If you could have something right now, anything, what would it be? - Angelina Jolie's bod pre-17 babies. Maybe then I could land Brad Pitt too.
11. Where does most of your family live? - My immediate family lives here in the QC but I have family all over the US. Texas, Maine, and California to name a few.
12. Where do you want to go on vacation? - Anywhere lazy and tropical with a beach and fruity drinks with little umbrellas.
13. Have you ever had a panic attack? - Yes.
14. What can’t you wait for? - Didn't we sort of cover this in number 3? I'm rather impatient so I can't wait for a lot of things but guess what? I do.
15. When’s the last time you told someone you loved him or her and meant it? - about 4.5 hours ago when I hung up from Adam and told him I loved him.
16. Have your parents ever smoked pot? - I 100% doubt my mom did. I think my dad was more of an alcoholic than a drug user.
17. Want someone back in your life? - My mom. I would like to have the relationship with my friend Tanya that we used to have.
18. What do you order at the bar? - Beer and shots of So Co.
19. When was the last time you cried really, really hard? - Probably last month just before Aunt Flo came to town. I tend to get a little hysterical.
20. Ever licked someone’s cheek? - Probably.
21. What is your favorite thing to eat with peanut butter? - Jelly and bread
22. Where were you on July 4th, 2008? - First we went downtown for the parade. I came home and slept and then we went to our town's street fest and fireworks. It was a lot of fun.
23. What are your nicknames? - When I was little I had a friend that lived across the street who's alcoholic dad called me "Famous Amos". My friend Tanya sometimes called me "Aim toothpaste". Adam calls me "babe", "pookie bear" or "pook", my best friend Jim calls me "WaWa" and my babies call me "mama".
24. If you could go back in time, how far back would you go? - Ugh. I don't know that I would go back in time. Sometimes I think I'd like to go back to the last time I saw my mom but to have to go through her death again, I don't think I could do it.

XYZ

So my goal to post everyday this month was foiled by an open out. I will explain what that is momentarily but I'd first like to talk about our night out at karaoke. It went perfectly well, thank you. Since Iowa banned smoking in bars almost a year ago, there are not many crowds in the bars anymore. What this means for The Adamnator and I is that he gets to sing a lot more often. We were there all of 3 minutes when he got up to sing his first song and he sang again about two songs later. He did awesome as always although I was a little nervous that the tiny bar might light up like a roman candle ala 'The Station night club' when he decided to sing "Once Bitten Twice Shy" but due to the lack of pyrotechnics, we were all saved.

I got a little excited when I heard that a chick was going to sing "Ballroom Blitz". This is one of my favorite songs and one I used to sing with my friend Audrey back in the day. We retired it at my wedding reception and I haven't sung it since. That's right, Interneters. I had karaoke at my wedding reception. Adam and I met at karaoke so it has sentimental value, ok? At least that's what we keep telling ourselves in order to make us feel less white-trashy. So, chicky gets up there to sing "Ballroom Blitz" and she sounds like a muppet. Dammit! I was so bummed. Nothing will take away your favorite-song-euphoria like hearing Fozzie the Bear sing it.

Karaoke is always filled with a lot of characters no matter how many people are there. If there's four people there and two of them are us, you can bet there's going to be at least one person to secretly make fun of for the rest of the night. I'm the queen of this. I could walk up in that bar with my hair in dreadlocks, a wedding dress and soccer shoes and think it's ok to make fun of the girl in the Ghostbusters t-shirt. That's just how I roll. I always give them names too like, "tight sleeve girl", "slicker girl", "Buddha belly" and "simon says". You know "simon says". She's the white girl that gets out on the dance floor with all of her black girlfriends and does exactly what they do. So last Friday night we had "Bonnie Tyler". Bonnie looked exactly like Bonnie Tyler ("Total Eclipse of the Heart"??? Gawd, I am so not calling on you for any 80's trivia!) She had a horrible fake tan, bleached blond hair, too much make-up and the voice of James Earl Jones. While she did sing very good, she had Cher Hand. You know Cher Hand. It's the hand that's not holding the microphone that dangles limply just above the waste and has long red nails. Cher Hand.

I didn't even get drunk. In fact I even drank two glasses of water. Yahoo for me. I just don't drink as much since blackberry Brandy made me spew red all over my bedroom carpet. Meddling blackberry Brandy. I hate her.

So the open out. I don't know if I've ever blogged about my previous job before the Adamnator and I moved back to the Quad Cities but I used to work for MCI. I started out working 3rd shift as an e-Customer Service representative, which meant I answered e-mails from customers all night long. I loved it and I excelled at it. I had awesome quality and was looked upon by supervisors to help new employees with their work and check it before it went out. I loved doing it and I loved almost everyone I worked with. After doing that for two years the company took on a new endeavor (this was pre-Bernie Ebbers goes to jail). The company had bought out a smaller company that supplied local services and they were going to create a local service called, "The Neighborhood Built By MCI." We were the first company to combine local and unlimited long distance service for one price. Ten of us were chosen to be the 3rd shift local repair team. Now obviously we weren't going out to houses to perform repairs, but we did take the repair calls, do line tests, dispatch technicians and set up times for techs to come repair service. I learned a lot of repair lingo and a lot more about how phone service works during my time on local repair.

Sunday morning Adam and I woke up and had no Internet service and no dial tone. When you called the home phone it was RNA. Geek talk for Ring No Answer. I called the phone company and guess what? The main number in the phone book was not a working number. Awesome. I called a billing number I had in my cell phone that I used last week. They were closed. Finally found a repair number and after going through automated phone hell I was put through to a lovely representative straight out of Bangalore, India named "Susan". Now I say "Susan" because I know that's not her real name. My time at MCI also gave me a huge education on outsourcing. Outsourcing is the reason I don't still work for MCI today. When MCI decided to outsource "just some" of the e-Customer Service work to India, we started seeing e-mails go out to customers with our names that we did not send. That was because our Indian co-workers were using our names so they didn't have to sign Noorjehan, Parameshwari, or Abjit--their real names. After a lot of complaining we finally got them to end their e-mails with who they really are.

I told "Susan" that our phones and Internet were not working. She asked me all the right questions--did I unplug the phones, did I try a different phone, do I pray to Allah. I knew how to perform the UPT (Unplug Test) so I was right with her on all of that. I was then expecting to be put on hold for a line test. Nope. "Susan" transferred me to the DSL repair team. Oh "Susan"! DSL repair told me that they couldn't fix my DSL until I had a dial tone, which I already knew but someone needs to school "Susan" on that, I think. They started getting into a bunch of questions I had a hard time understanding and I finally just hung up in frustration. I figured I would call back Monday morning and try to get someone maybe in Denver. Sunday night Adam decided it was time to try again so I called back and spoke to "Susan" Bangalore friend, "John". No kidding. He called himself "John". John immediately performed a line test and discovered we had an "open out". When he started to explain to me what that was I told him I already knew but hearing the phrase "open out" immediately brought back a lot of memories. One in particular.

The ten of us that were chosen for that third shift repair team were some of the funnest people in the center. One night a friend that was not on our team, Wes, came into the bay to talk to some of us during a break. After he left I turned to someone on my team and said, "Wes' zipper was down." He laughed and composed an email that went something like this:

Subject: XYZ

The local repair team has performed a test and found that you have an open out on your zipper. We could dispatch a technician but this is a job you may want to do yourself to save the cost.

I saved that email forever. I suppose to someone who wasn't there maybe it's not as funny but when you're forced to be a phone tech geek for a year of your life, that shit's funny, yo.

...which is my problem...how, exactly?

Over a month ago two doctors associated with our hospital quit their practice and went, who knows where. I don't particularly care except sometimes people call me at work and ask. A letter was sent to each of their patients letting them know the practice was closing and they had been referred to Dr. X. It also listed a number they can call to get a different referral if they don't want to see Dr. X.

Today a man called who had been a patient of one of these doctors and he said that this doctor was supposed to have called in a prescription for him over a month ago and it wasn't done. He said he has an appointment with another doctor he was referred to on Monday but needs this script now, what should he do? I asked what the doctor's name was that he was referred to.

"I don't know."
"Do you know where the doctor's office is?"
"It's across the street from the hospital."

(The area he is referring to is like a doctor's park with seriously about 10 buildings FULL.OF.DOCTOR'S.OFFICES.)

"Without the physician's name, sir, I don't know where to transfer your call to."
"So, what you're saying is, you have no idea who my doctor is and where my appointment is so I'm basically fucked???"
"That's it, exactly." Is what I wanted to say. What came out of my mouth was more. "I'm sorry. This is only the switchboard. I don't have any access to your records or appointments and can't tell you who your doctor is."

This is when he starts yelling the word "fuck" a lot and basically the point in the call where I hung up. Good luck and good day to you, sir.

Happy weekend everyone. Adam and I are heading out to karaoke tonight. I have to go now and pretend like I don't hear Adam having pretend conversations with people in the shower.

I suppose you think this is going to work...

We got a notice from the office today. Said they were going to bring the building down to just one hot water heater tonight and tomorrow so they can "fix" it. They say their "confident" it will work. Riiiiiiiight... Good thing I'm working 1st shift tomorrow and wont need a hot shower in the morn...oh...wait. Dammit.

You wanna make something of it???

Yeah...I didn't post anything yesterday. Bite me. I gave up posting on March 3rd for lent. Prove I didn't. Go on. I'll wait.

Timing is everything

Let me start this post by telling you it's 5:19am and I've been up since 4:34. I woke up Friday night for work with a bit of a sore throat. About 5 minutes into my shift I was miserable. My head had so much pressure I thought it would pop. Luckily my sore throat didn't last but I've been unable to breathe ever since. I popped Dayquil at work Saturday night until I came home, took two Tylenol PM and was completely unconscious 2.73 minutes later. I normally sleep anywhere from 3.5 to 4.5 hours after working 3rd shift but yesterday I slept almost 8 hours.

The Gods of Urinary Control woke me up this morning at 4:34am and and an even more evil God decided more sleep is not in my future. I. Am. Wide. Awake. So, I popped some more Dayquil and I'm running with it.

Another reason I'm awake is because as soon as I finished my bathroom work and returned to bed I noticed that the upstairs neighbors were turning on and off their water. Over and over with the water. Over and over. Every time they turn their water off, the pipes rattle. Then I noticed it was very uniform--this on and off with the water. My Swatch watch is on my nightstand and it ticks very loud. Because I had nothing else to do as I lay there I started timing it. Sure enough the water is on for EXACTLY 20 seconds before it's turned off and it's turned back on EXACTLY 18.5 seconds later. After a half-hour of this I realized no person could do this so methodically. No way. Ain't happenin'. I'm going to call the office later, you know, after they open, and try to explain to them what's happening in a way that hopefully they won't call for the men in white coats that twiddle their thumbs and their toes.

What I'm really hoping with this new discovery is that it will make me a building hero. See, since before Thanksgiving everyone in our building has had problems with their hot water. As in we don't usually have any, or you have to work hard for it. If you would like to take a hot shower in our building you have to let the water run for ten minutes first. No joke. Sometimes if you turn your shower on and then the sink on full-blast-hot, then you can cut your waiting time in half. I like to call the whole process "going 'green' ". This is also the same if you would like to wash your dishes in something other than ice water. Our building has 12 3-bedroom apartments so you can imagine all the water we're saving by having to do this. Sometimes, if you're really, really lucky, once you've waiting the necessary 5-10 minutes for your hot shower, it will turn cold three minutes after you get in. It does it gradually, you know, over a 15 second period. That way you can beg and plead for it to stop. "Please, please don't get cold! Please!" Then the next thing you hear is, "Are you kidding me right now?!?!?" Then the painful screams of someone trying to wash their undercarriage in cold water as quickly as possible. This is followed with a lot of cussing. Now I'm starting to wonder if this on and off again thing has something to do with it. Someone call the CSI guys, quick.

I've decided to do NaBloPoMo for March. Maybe just to prove I can do it since I blew it back in November, what, three whole days into it? The theme is Giving (Up). Obviously you don't have to stick with the theme, but after all this, I think what I've given up is sleep. Beautiful sleep. Oh, and hot water.

By the way--the on and off with the water thing? Still doing it almost an hour and a half later. Wheird.