Some Randoms...

Gosselin Random...

I think Jon Gosselin is the biggest douchebag to ever walk the face of this planet. I am not a follower of Jon & Kate Plus 8. I think I've seen two or three episodes and that was a few years ago. I remember thinking, "How in the HELL did these two people ever hook up in the first place??" I have no idea how they met, nor do I give two shits, but I do have a scenerio in my mind as to how it happened.

Jon and Kate go to the same college circa 1993. Jon is a partying, good-time frat boy with lots of friends. He listens to 4 Non Blondes and Ace of Base, plus a little Sugar Ray for good measure. Kate is the hard-studying bitch friend who hates her roommate because she makes friends easily and seems to be breezing through courses even though she is out all night every night having a good time. Kate has just two or three friends but she is close to them and they put up with her being a hard-core bitch because that's just how she is.

One of Kate's friends gets invited a party at Jon's fraternity. None of them know Jon, nor does Jon know any of them. One of the friends talks Kate into going even though she would really rather sit in her room and study for mid-terms since it will be quiet because her roommate is skiing with her new boyfriend all weekend. The party is like something out of Animal House. Kate thinks it's "dumb". Her friends start having a good time. They try to get Kate to have a good time. Kate finds some guy in the kitchen who shares her anger about the party and together they have many drinks with much hard liquor. Kate's new "friend" has to leave to take care of a puking buddy. Enter a drunk Jon. Witness a drunk Kate. See Kate hump drunk Jon in a random room in a passionate, drunk, angry sex kinda way. See Jon really like it. See Kate think that will never happen again. See Amy stop writing like she's all tarded up.

Kate wakes up the next day with a "that will NEVER happen again" attitude. Jon wakes up the next day and has apply cream to the whip marks on his back, but he likes it! He finds out where Kate lives. He bugs her until they go out on another date. He has to get her drunk in order to get more sex. They become a couple with her wearing the pants and him going along with whatever she wants just so she'll spank him later. They get married. They have twins. They want one more kid but her negative attitude keeps them from getting pregnant. They try drugs to help the process. They have six babies at once. Jon never gets sex again. The End.

Here's where the douchebaggery comes in. I used to hate Kate and feel bad for Jon. I think most of America did. However, since we've all had to endure the last few months of Gosslin-mania I'm starting to feel a little sympathy towards Kate and a lot of eye-rolling towards Jon. It doesn't even have anything to do with their divorce, or his new girlfriends. It has everything to do with his hair-plugs and the Ed Hardy clothes.

I see him decked head-to-toe in Ed Hardy gear and I wanna vom in the nearest trashcan. I'm not 100% sure why I feel this way. I guess it's because I read somewhere that Christian Audigier sent the whole family Ed Hardy clothing and he was the only douche who was willing to wear it. Now, because of his horrible taste in clothing and Christian Audigier's bad business sense, we're going to be forced not only to see more of Jon Gosselin's 30-something ass wearing 20-something clothing, but probably his innocent kids too. I just keep waiting for Jon to show up at some skate park wearing those tattoo sleeves they sell at halloween time for people who want to dress like bikers but don't want the commitment of putting 72 tattoos on their arms. It makes me want to kick him in his hair plugs.


Dental Randoms...
Sunday morning I was leaving work and it was raining and kinda blah. As I was pulling out of the hospital a woman was walking into the hospital drive. She was wearing pants and a heavy winter coat. It was orange with brown fur around the hood. She had the hood up over her head and a huge toothless smile on her face. She was probably nuttier than a fruitcake and maybe even smiling because she just kicked a baby bunny all the way down 24th street but I couldn't help but smile too when I passed her. She made my morning seem a little less dreary. Thanks crazy-toothless lady!


Commute Randoms...
For those of you who don't know, I live in Iowa but work in Illinois. The hospital I work at is in the 'hood, but not the deep 'hood. We get lots of shootings and stabbings and the ER is constantly having to go on lock-down.

They are doing construction on the bridge I take to get to work. For those of you not geographically inclined, Iowa and Illinois are separated by the Mississippi, therefore a bridge is necessary for my commute. (: I can get across it pretty easily but the on-ramp home is closed so a lengthy detour is in place. Because of this I started taking another route and bridge home and I love it. It gets me home a few minutes earlier than my original route even without the new detour. I also get to drive downtown along the Mississippi and there is a lot less morning traffic.

My new route does, however, put me right into the deep 'hood. It's never bothered me when I come home because It's 7am and all the drama is usually over and all the gangstas are tucked safely into their beds. Yesterday though, I had to work 2nd shift and so my peaceful route home was a little more scary at 11:30 at night. There were lots of people just wandering around, crossing the street, yelling, running, and just generally being shady. I was so glad to cross the bridge and get out of there.

Schedule Randoms...
Two weeks ago I sent an e-mail to my supervisor and my manager letting them know that once my kids start school on the 10th, I cannot help out on 1st or 2nd shift anymore. I did this because we had one girl on 1st shift who's last week was the coming week at the switchboard and then she was moving to a different department. I can't work other shifts anymore because of Blake's preschool schedule. I have to drive him to his bus, which is about a mile away around 10:30am and pick him back up around 3:45. There is no one else to do this. This is all me. Plus, my first priority is the kiddos, not the hospital. My manager sent me a response telling me he understands, no problem. Not long after that my supervisor put in her resignation. I was glad I got my two-cents in before the schedule got crazier!

Yesterday I get to work and my supervisor, who is working her last week with us, mind you, had sent me an e-mail telling me I had to work 1st shift next Wednesday. Um, no? Seriously? So I sent another e-mail back explaining why I couldn't. "Well can you work 2nd shift that day?" Really? Jesus woman! Why are you messing with my schedule for a period of time when you wont even be my boss anymore?!?!? Asshat.