Gobble Gobble Goo and Gobble Gobble Gickel. I Wish Turkey Only Cost A Nickel

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

I’m working tonight (Wednesday night) and then have to go home, finish a few devilled eggs I didn’t do yesterday, make a 7 layer salad and then try to catch a few hours of zzzzz’s. We’re eating dinner at my sister’s house at 1:00 and I don’t plan to get there until 12:30-1:00. Those bitches can wait on me. Dinner’s never served on time anyway.

I’ve done the head count a couple times and I think there’s going to be 15 of us. It should be fun. It’s my better side of the family. I’ll try to remember the camera. Getting pictures of people sleeping with their pants undone is always good for blackmail. Most will pay to keep that stuff off the Internet. *evil laugh!*

The only thing I'm not looking forward to, which my dear husband is, is the yearly broadcast of "Alice's Restaurant" played in it's entirety beginning at noon. Whooooo. Blake's gonna have a fit. I can hear it now. "Noooooot thiiiiiiis! I wanna hear the Ting Tings!" Goody.

My lips are turning blue and I haven't felt my toes since 10:15

Last night I worked and on the way home stopped to get some gas. ($1.76/gallon baby! Yeah!) Once I got home I made Emily put on some shoes (she had slept in her clothes, wtg Adam!) and then I threw her in the car and made my way over the bridge, through Moline, into the heart of East Moline for Emily's FluMist appointment. That took all of five minutes once we got there so we headed back through the heart of East Moline, into Moline, over the bridge and into our warm house.

After that I made Emily add some clothes to her current ensemble. From there we all dug through the corner basket that holds all of our scarves, mittens, ear muffs and any other diddy that keeps random appendages warm, then we piled in the car and headed downtown to the Festival of Trees parade.

I am so, so kicking myself for not bringing the camera, but truth be told, I'm not sure I would have even taken any pictures because it was SO FREAKING COLD! Though we were all dressed warm, none of us had on enough clothes. We could have brought more blankets. I should have brought a couple chairs for the kids to keep them from having to sit their cold butts on the concrete.

I'm not even sure the parade was over when we left. It may have just been a very large gap between the three story Mega Hunter balloon and some local high school band. We never even got to see Santa in his souped up coupe.

When we stood to leave my but was so frozen that I didn't even notice I had to pee until I actually started moving. My feet were so cold that I literally didn't feel anything from about my mid calf down. At one point I was nervous walking for fear I may fall down and be trampled by the thousands of parade-goers (or would that be parade-leavers) behind me.

It very much reminded me of the time I worked as a receptionist at a car dealership. (My first job). One Saturday I spent about two-hours sitting on one of my feet. There was really no reason for it other than I was just comfortable sitting in that position. The problem was when I got up and started walking across the showroom floor to go to lunch. My foot and leg were so asleep that I didn't even notice that I left one shoe (a flat) behind. Someone had to point it out to me.

"Hey Amy. How come you're only wearing one shoe?"

"Oh, because I can't feel my leg past my knee."

"..."

I'm surprised I didn't end up stepping on something ridiculous like a wandering tack or meandering staple. Then I would have formed some new strain of gangrene and end up having to be fitted for a new titanium foot. My luck the new foot would be smaller than my normal shoes and I'd have to forever endear the question, "Hey Amy, How come you're only wearing one shoe?" Then I would flashback to that fateful day in the dealership where a young girl dared to find comfort at her desk on the showroom floor.

So, yeah. It was really cold at the parade.

The Dad Update

In my last post I talked about how my dad went into the ER on Sunday the 9th. He was then admitted to the Surgical ICU unit, then was moved a day or 2 later to the Medical ICU unit. I think he was there a day before he was again moved to a regular medical floor on Thursday.

Friday morning at 5:45am my phone rang, which is never good. It was my sister. She said dad's nurse had just called her and that dad was missing. Had been missing for the last 15-20 minutes. This does happen every once in a while. I'll hear from security that a pt. has gone missing, they'll ask me to keep my eye out since my office overlooks the lobby. In all of the cases I've know it to happen, 100% have been found within 10-15 minutes. Usually they are outside smoking or in the cafeteria trying to score some food. So, when I got off the phone to call security, I was really expecting to hear that they had already found him. Instead one officer was out driving around town to see if he had walked toward home, the other was walking around trying to find him. He asked for a description because he said the nurses couldn't give him a good one. Uh...what????? He's been there for five days and NO ONE can describe him???

"He's a big guy. Probably around 275 lbs. He's got grey hair. He wears glasses but I'm not sure if he's got them on. He's had knee replacements, a new hip and new shoulders. This is not a guy that gets around quickly."

Then he asked if he had street clothes in his room.

"No. We took those with us on Sunday night."
"Well I should tell you that the nurses found his gown on his bed."
"..."
"So we're potentially dealing with a naked man walking around the hospital."
"I don't know what to say."
"Have you ever had any issues with him like this before?"
"Never ever. He's never even had so much as a senior moment. That's why I'm at such a loss. I really, really have no idea why he's doing this."
"Call me back in 10 minutes. I'm going to check the security cameras."

The next 10 minutes was the longest ever. I was perplexed as to whether I should get dressed and go over there or stay home because surely they would find him in the next few minutes. By now it had been about 45 minutes since he went missing.

I called security back and talked to the guard who had been out driving around. He said, "I heard he doesn't have any clothes. That's not right, is it?"

"Well, he didn't have any street clothes in his room, I can tell you that. I really don't think he would have left the hospital. Plus, if he really doesn't have any clothes on and was outside, someone would have called by now to report it."
"Well, why don't you call the police department and find out."
"...." (that's me, shocked that I'm being asked to call the police myself.) "Is it possible he just got up out of his room, got confused and then came back to the wrong room? Have the nurses on his floor checked all the rooms?"

"I don't know. Why don't you call the floor and ask. I tell you what, why don't you call the police then call the floor to see if they've checked the rooms. I haven't talked to the nurses."

(In this guard's defense, I think he was confused when I first called. I think he thought I was at work and would have had all of these numbers at my disposal. If that would have been the case, I probably would have already made these calls myself. I don't think he realized I was calling from home.)

At that point I decided to go there. My sister was already on her way.

When I was almost to the hospital my phone rang. They had found my dad. An hour and a half later they found him. He was underneath a stairwell. He went down six flights of stairs and found a resting spot under the stairs. They had wheeled him back upstairs and were in the hall outside his room when I got there. Our nursing supervisor said she thought she knew all of the hiding places for patients. Guess she knows better now.

My dad seemed completely back to normal when we got there, although he was pretty shook up and scared as to why he did it. He told me he went looking for French Canada. We're pretty sure it was the new meds they have him on, or the lack thereof, because they had just taken him off a bunch of meds and morphine the day before. We can't seem to convince him of that though. They think it may also have been a severe UTI that caused it. Either way it seems to be an isolated case.

Oh, and he wasn't naked BTW. One of the nurses had remembered changing his gown. He also stole his roommate's coat before he left, so he wasn't totally crazy.

Despite all of that they did end up releasing him that night. He ended up back in the ER the next day (last Saturday) because he felt like he was going to pass out. Turns out his pulse was spiking up to 180 due to a potassium and magnesium deficiency. He was released again last night and is now staying out at my sister's house. Now comes arrangements for home assistance and probably a new apartment. One without stairs.