Oh Aaaaammmyyyyy...well you came and you brought me a bloooooggggg...

Greetings world. I have been thinking for some time of starting a blog besides the randomness I scratch out on my myspace page (www.myspace.com/tits_maghee for those of you that would like to be my friend.) Tonight, my blog debutes!

A little about me:

I am thirty/something and live in the Quad Cities. I work part-time at one of our local hospitals. I have been married for almost eight years to a kid named Adam. Please don't be freaked out, I call most people "kids" it is not a reflection of their age although Adam is younger than I am. A whopping 8 months and 24 days. Adam has worked in construction for the last four years or so and is currently laid-off for the winter. We have two kids, Emily and Blake. They are six and three, respectively. Emily is in first grade and one of the coolest kids I know. She is a lot like me. Pretty easy going, hates doing chores, loves doing crafts and art. Blake is my maniac. He's all boy. He loves trucks, cars, trains, dirt, screaming, dinosaurs, and generally being naughty.

I'm pretty opinionated and generally find something that bugs me in everything and everyone. It's one of my big faults although it gives me plenty to write about. I don't have any real hobbies although I think having one might be fun. I like watching TV and love my DVR. I have a couple favorite soaps I watch, The Young & The Restless and Days of our Lives. I also love The Office, Grey's Anatomy, My Name Is Earl and ER.

I hope you'll come often to check out my blogs. I will try to post as frequently as possible. Please feel free to comment open and honestly.

Ciao!

Tom Smykowski (Office Space): Well look, I already told you! I deal with the goddamn customers so the engineers don't have to! I have people skills! I am good at dealing with people! Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?

Please...Don't...Stand...So

I thought I would make my inaugural blog about something that really irks me. I'm going to try to keep it to just this one thing because as you'll soon find out, if you don't already, that there is a laundry list of things that really irk me.

This thing is when people stand too close to me while waiting in various lines, mostly of the check-out variety. I mean seriously, when I can feel you breathing on the back of my neck (yes, this really happened to me recently and yes, it feels just as creepy as it sounds) it's time for you to step back.

I used to just stand there and take it. Just be annoyed to myself. When that wouldn't make me feel any better I would take to taking teeny, tiny steps backwards in their direction. Sometimes this works. Sometimes it backfires and makes the person annoyed because apparently they don't know it's impolite to ride piggyback on a stranger.

Every time this happens to me, regardless of how I actually react, I always play out a little scenario in my head of me calmly, but forcefully giving them an elbow jab in the ribs. I imagine just standing there like nothing is happening and then WHAMMO! You just got checked Granny! Now back off before I snatch that wig off your head and shove your "pocketbook" down your girdle!

On the same note are the people that have no sense of how long their shopping cart is and it ever so gently keeps tapping you in the ass. Sometimes you get lucky and someone that's with the offender notices and says, "Hey! You're hitting her with the cart!" Then they reply with an "Oh, sorry!" in that tone that says, "I'm stupid, please don't get mad at me." At that point there's nothing you can do but forgive them. It's like the people that cut you off in traffic or almost hit you as you're crossing in a crosswalk and you start to get really pissed but then they give you that shrug, that "sorry...I'm a dumbass" shrug and you're stuck forgiving them. You're like, "well he gave me the shrug, or the little wave that says he's stupid so I have to forgive him." Dammit! I hate that!

Sometimes that invasion of personal space is really exactly
what you need--Meredith Grey